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» Must Read: My Sallah Ram


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A story written by FoxyFlow…

“Musa, me ne ne kana yi a cikin gidan rago?”
**Musa, what are you doing inside the ram’s shed?”
My father came to my room that early morning to wake me up. I opened my eyes drowsily to see the man standing close to my bed with a long dagger. I had to jump up quickly thinking my dad had come to castrate me. How he found out I just couldn’t tell. I remember following my friend’s to “gidan kara” (brothel) the previous night after it was announced that the following day was the sallah celebration. I was only a virgin.

I had gone in the company of Baffa and Idris who had been telling me tales on how it feels to be on top of a woman. Being a novice who wanted to experiment with a new thing, I followed them. Then we were staying in House 263, 13th Street, Shagari Quarters, Kano. Kai, I followed those two boys on foot. We trekked some considerable distance because they had initially told me they don’t want anybody seeing them boarding bikes.

“I don tire o, make we climb machine na”
I said from a corner of my mouth. The other part of the mouth was busy sucking hard on a sugar cane. They just looked me and smiled. We had already gotten to zoo road. They then crossed to the other side where a man was selling cigarettes. I followed them since we were together. I had never smoked before though I had been planning secretly to do so.

“Malam, ba mu cigari”
**Malam, give us cigarettes”
Idris ordered confidently. I had to look at the same boy twice who when at home use this kind of female voice to answer and talk to people. Where the machoness came out from surprised me. The malam passed a pack of cigarette to Idris which he opened hurriedly. He took a stick out, passed another to Baffa and totally ignored me. He tapped on the base of the cigarette, collected a lighter, lighted it and dragged the smoke in. He released a whitish cloud of smoke at my face moments later.

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“Na which kind nonsense be this na?”
I had queried.

“You sabi smoke?”
He asked. If I should answer in the negative, it would be a slap on my face. A man that wants to get disvirgined should not be afraid of smoking, I reasoned. Moreover, I had done it countless times with wrapped papers torn from the pages of my exercise book.
“You no go fit stand where I dey smoke na”
I replied him. He did not say anything, he knew I was bragging but he still passed me the lighted one he had begun smoking. I looked at the saliva at the tip of the cigarette and rejected it. I wanted a new one.

“Give me another stick na abi you no know say if two men saliva mix e mean say them don kiss?”
I sounded intelligent to my own hearing. Idris just shrugged and passed a stick to me. I in turn tapped the base of the cigarette, collected a lighter and lighted it. I dragged a lungful or more than a lungful. Cough came out from no where. I started coughing so hard tears were running out of my eyes. Idris and Baffa too were laughing so hard tears was coming out of their own eyes.
“Amma Musa nan, ba ka iya abu ba sai ka yi ko?”

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**Musa, you don know how to do something but want to do it”
Baffa commented still laughing. I had thrown the cigarette away before it would kill me.

“Na yarda. In dai na wajen mata ne, nafi ku wallahi”
**I agree, but if it is women, forget it”
I boasted. They only exchanged glances before bursting into fresh laughter. I knew I was done for. Idris had collected three tins of peak milk which he proceeded to perforate. I watched standing while Baffa helped him. I was passed a tin of milk.
“Dan me?”
**Why?**
I asked.

“In ka gama, ya kamata ka sha wannan dan ruwan garto da ka zuba zai koma jikin ka”
“”When you are done, you need to drink it so that the seed expelled would go back””
Baffa did the talking. Idris had already grown impatient with me.
“Toh, na ji”
**Alright**
I collected the tin of milk and proceeded to suck it dry.

“Ga kwayan nan”
**Take this tablets**
Idris passed some blue looking tablets to me.
“Wannan kuma me?”
**What’s this one?**
I asked.

“Ka cika tambayya wallahi.”
**You ask too many questions**
Idris the impatient one scolded me. Hey, the body is my temple and I need to really know what a thing is before filling my temple with it.

“Kawo to”
**Bring it then**
I said to him. I collected the tablets and kept on staring at them waiting for them to pass water to me. It wasn’t passed. I wondered why but did not ask since I saw them throw a tablet each into their mouths without drinking water. I proceeded to follow them do so. The tablet was tasteless but I still continued sucking and licking at it.

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“Stop machine make we climb dey go sabon gari”
Idris spoke in English. I waved at a bike which we bargained. He took the three of us on it and drove through the streets of Kano down to sabon gari. We were going to the legendary Sanyolu/Odutola road. A brothel which had a great reputation was located there.

“Nan zamu sauka
**We’ll stop here**
Idris who was close to the bikeman said. He stopped. Baffa came down, I practically flew down. I was not seeing the ground. It took me ages to get to the ground. My head felt light and the warld looked more like a slow motion.
“A ina muke?”

**where are we?**
I asked. That was the last question I remembered asking. Every other thing happened slowly. We walked in, I was dragged into a room by a girl. Idris had followed suit. He paid her, I did everything without feeling nothing. I only knew I urinated inside her.
*********************************************
“Baci ne ya kama ni”
**I fell asleep**

I replied my dad. A slap from him made my eyes as clear as spring water. There was I lying so close to the sallah ram n’ak’ed and without clothes. I did not know how I came to be their. I only remembered everything after Idris came to help us butcher the ram.

So much just to disvirgin myself…
***THE END***

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